


It’s All Fun and Games

by Maths_is_my_religion



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Family, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Board Games, Family Dynamic, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, References to SMP Earth, Sibling Rivalries, games night, sleepy bois inc - Freeform, they play risk ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27893737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maths_is_my_religion/pseuds/Maths_is_my_religion
Summary: Sbi games night fic I wrote whilst sleep deprived. They are a family and they play ‘Risk’(I’m terrible at summaries I’m sorry)
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 4
Kudos: 72





	It’s All Fun and Games

**Author's Note:**

> So, uh, I wrote this on my phone on the Ao3 website whilst sleep deprived. This is not properly edited or beta read, there will be lots of mistakes probably. 
> 
> And by that I mean I wrote this over the course of like a week or two, every time I would work on it would be late night/early morning. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I haven’t played Risk in ages and I apologise if the depictions of the gameplay are inaccurate. All I remember is Go Into Unoccupied Country Or Fight For Dominance. I believe the battles are based on dice rolls, but that could be the D&D player in me simping for click clack math bricks. 
> 
> Also, my geography is shit, don’t judge me. I’m sorry if I got countries mixed up. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

When Phil suggested ‘Family Game Night,’ there was really only one way it could end. He had vainly hoped that it would be a harmless little family bonding experience, with some fun rivalry sprinkled in as well, as any naïve parent would. 

He definitely did not expect to be swindled out of all his money and lose a very heated game of Monopoly to ‘TommyInnit Enterprises,’ or to be out played in Uno by Wilbur.

The one week Tubbo had been allowed to join, he had easily beaten everyone in a flawless run of Trivial Pursuit. Phil was convinced he had googled every single question before he arrived.   
  
Whilst it was all meant to be fun and games, Phil was not prepared for raw, competitive energy to be channeled so strongly into some simple board game. Wilbur had looked like he was about to murder him when he apologetically placed down a plus four, and even Tubbo managed to get irritated, but mostly at the fact that nobody knew ‘simple’ trivia answers.

On the fourth edition of the weekly game night, Technoblade was getting restless. He hated losing. He had very nearly flipped over the Monopoly board when he landed on yet another of Tommy’s properties and had to mortgage even more of his land. His younger brother had practically owned the board that game. 

He had also seemed to attract every +4 card in Uno, the cursed stacks of suffering always ending on him and requiring him to pick up even _more_ cards. (The most he’d had to pick up in a turn was twelve. It wasn’t his fault that he hadn’t had another +2 card to keep the meme going. He’d had his sweet, sweet revenge though, forcing Tommy to pick up almost as many cards as him over the game. He had _not_ been happy.)

But that was all in the past now. Tonight, Techno was going to win. He would destroy the competition and claim his place as the best at board games. 

“We’re playing this tonight,” Techno slammed a box onto the table, causing Wilbur to jump whilst in the middle of playing guitar.   
“What is that?” Tommy peered over Techno’s shoulder to catch a glimpse of the brand-new board game. 

The box was decorated with artwork of soldiers and armies, fighting for control. The bright red text stood out against the box-world’s smoky sky.   
“Risk?” Tommy read out slowly. Wilbur looked up from his playing.   
“Oh I’ve heard of that one. It’s where you need to take over the world or something,” he said. Techno’s maniacal smirk confirmed it. 

“Well we can’t let Techno take over the world, he’d just turn it all to anarchy,” Phil said as he walked into the room.   
“Too right, Dad,” Techno’s excited expression was still on his face.   
“If I took over the world I think I could find more girlfriends,” grinned Tommy.  
”Fiiiiiiine,” Wilbur groaned, then immediately started playing his guitar again. 

“You’re just scared you’ll lose, Wilbur,” Techno baited.   
“Oh please, bacon boy, I’ll destroy you.”   
”You wish.”

Wilbur placed his guitar down carefully, then immediately ran and tackled Techno. He was caught by surprise, and, unable to stop themselves, both brothers toppled onto the carpet. Wilbur was encasing Techno in an inescapable bear hug as he thrashed around on the ground trying to get loose. Tommy’s laughter rang around the room and easily drained out Phil’s disappointed sigh.

Eventually, Wilbur let go. He stood up, satisfied he had won the fight. Techno rolled over and reached out his hand to trip Wilbur up, but he jumped out of the way just in time.

”That’s a dirty play, Technoblade, trying to stab me after the fight’s over,” he scolded.   
“I wouldn’t say _stab_ ,” Techno’s monotone voice reasoned from the floor. “I think the word is more _sabotage_.”

Phil rolled his eyes as the two siblings continued bickering.   
“Shall we begin then, Tommy?” He turned to see the the youngest boy egging on his brothers’ fight with a glint of laughter in his eyes.   
“Alright then, I guess if I’m the only one who wants to play, I automatically win.”

Phil waited for the reaction. It didn’t take long. Techno froze, then barrelled past Wilbur to the table, where he practically tore the box open and started taking out all of the different parts. Tommy congratulated Wilbur on winning the ‘fight’ before helping Techno unpack the box,

“Jesus Christ this game takes forever to set up,” Tommy complained as he poured out yet another set of colourful plastic figurines. Techno snatched them up and placed them in North America.   
“It’s not that bad Tommy,” said Phil, placing his own troops across the board. 

The board was a map of territories, all marked with different colours. Tommy had called dibs on Europe, claiming “the British Empire will stand strong.” He had placed most of his troops on England and its surrounding countries.

Phil had decided to start in Africa, reasoning that there was a lot of space he could retreat into and an opportunity to expand into Asia. He knew he’d be fighting Tommy a lot, which was guaranteed to get _very_ loud.

Wilbur was busy warming up the dice, so Techno had kindly based him in Australia. His land was quite spread out over a few islands. Tommy had, of course, brought up the fact that “Australians are just Americans in denial, why would you want to go there, Wilbur?”   
“Actually Tommy, Australians are more like discount British people.”   
”Whatever, you know how I feel about America anyway. I’m going to claim it back for Queen and Country!”

The man currently placing his troops in America looked up.  
“You can certainly try,” he deadpanned.   
“Oh Techno I am going to crush you!”   
“Are you sure about that?”   
“Absolutely,”

“I wouldn’t challenge him Tommy, he probably will destroy you,” Phil warned. Tommy decided not to listen, and shot a playful glare at Techno, his bright blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

“I get to go first because I’m the best!” he declared, picking up the dice and shaking them about in his hands. Wilbur shook his head, smiling fondly, but nobody objected. Tommy scanned Phil’s layout fleetingly, but he seemed to not really think of the consequences as moved some of his troops from Russia to the unoccupied Mongolia. He threw the dice unceremoniously to Wilbur, indicating it was his turn to play.

There wasn’t really much space to expand into, seeing as he was situated in the bottom right corner of the map, surrounded by nothing but sea and tiny islands. He moved into the unoccupied territory of Chile, across the channels that let him travel across the map.

Techno raised an eyebrow at Wilbur.   
“You do know I will need to take that back from you,” he said. Wilbur stared him down, his eyes narrowing and his lips twitching into a smile.   
“Try me, Bacon Boy.”

Techno snatched the dice out of Wilbur’s hand and stared at the board, analysing it carefully. He saw the positioning of everyone’s pieces and an idea formed in his head.

”Hey Phil, wanna form an alliance?”  
“Sure!” Phil replied enthusiastically. He knew that it was probably against the rules, but what did it matter? They were a family, enjoying games night, currently split into three warring parties. It was better than every man for himself devolving into total chaos.

”Awesome,” Techno said, his tone not reflecting his words. “You take care of Tommy, I’ll take care of Wilbur. We can take over the world!” Phil rolled his eyes and laughed, but shook Techno’s outstretched hand.   
“We have a deal my friend. Don’t turn on me.”

“Woah woah woah, you can’t just do that!” Tommy protested.  
“Well we just did. Deal with it kid,” Techno grinned  
“Well then, if that’s how it’s going to be, then Wil, would you like to form an alliance with me?”

“I would love to, Tommy. What should we call it?”   
“Perhaps something that describes how awesome we are, something that will strike fear into the hearts of our enemies,” He stared pointedly at Techno and Phil, almost challenging them.  
“How about... The Cummie Squad?”   
“No, that sounds, that sounds...” Tommy struggled to find an appropriate way to explain it. “Look, if Tubbo asks me what I was doing at Games Night tonight, and I tell him that I was participating in ‘Cummie Squad’ with my older brother, what do you think he’d say?”   
  
Wilbur hesitated for a moment, not wanting to admit that Tommy had made a good point. He pondered for a few seconds more, then an idea finally popped into his head.

”How about ‘Cumin Squad?’”   
“No, no-“ Tommy still didn’t look excited about the new name idea.  
“Cumin, like the spice. Do you have anything against spices, Tommy?” Wilbur smiled, he could smell victory.   
“Fiiiiiine,” Tommy groaned, but he was grinning.

Techno and Phil were trying their hardest not to crack up. Their mouths were pressed into a thin smile to stop them from bursting into laughter and ruining the moment. When Tommy had started chuckling, Phil couldn’t stop himself. He began cackling uncontrollably, setting Wilbur and Techno off as well.

The whole family were shaking with fits of unstoppable laughter. Techno’s quiet chuckles were drowned out by Wilbur’s uncontrollable giggling, but the loudest sound was Tommy’s unapologetic, genuine guffaws that were ringing through the room.

When they had finally been able to control themselves, Techno moved some troops from Mexico to Brazil. Then, he solemnly passed the dice to Phil, telling him to “kill the child.”

Phil began to advance on Tommy through the Middle East as the boy moved around East Asia. He didn’t dare advance on Techno yet, but he thoroughly guarded the channel from Alaska to Japan to avoid being attacked and getting his forces completely bulldozed.

Techno was calmly destroying Wilbur’s troops, advancing all the way through South America. It was quite a spectacle to watch, a man losing his mind over a board game. 

“WHAT?!” Wilbur’s eyes widened to an expression that only deranged people wore. He couldn’t believe the incredible luck that Techno was having. He didn’t accept Techno moving his troops back, claiming that he was cheating, he had to be. No man could be that lucky with dice rolling.

“Apparently, one man can,” Techno countered, as he pushed Wilbur back further. He was completely out of South America now, and into his own territory in the Pacific Islands.

Graciously, Techno let Wilbur keep New Zealand, mainly because he needed as many troops as he could in order to destroy his other enemies. Unfortunately for Tommy, that meant him. It also meant that Wilbur got into character, and decided to put on his best New Zealand accent, that didn’t really sound like one at all.

Tommy was not doing well against the now combined forces of his brother and his father. Wilbur’s incessant and terrible New Zealand ‘accent’ wasn’t helping either.   
  
“Look out Tommy, I think Phil is going to cut you off from behind.”   
“Wilbur please stop doing that accent or I will swim across the ocean and murder you.”   
“Well I’d like to see you try.”   
“Techno please, can you kill him? Then maybe he’ll stop doing that terrible accent.”   
“I’m a little busy trying to kill _you_ at the moment, Tommy.”

Tommy put up a good fight, rolling decently well and holding his ground until Techno decided to employ tactics from one of his favourite books: The Art Of War, by Sun Tzu. Now, with nowhere to go but backwards, Tommy retreated into Britain, being mercifully spared by the now Phil-occupied France.

“Who needs to conquer the world anyway? Everyone knows that Britain is the best country,” said Tommy, trying not to let the disappointment of defeat creep into his voice. Wilbur was still seething about Techno’s incredibly lucky rolling, swearing the dice had been weighted. 

“I mean seriously, how the fuck did he _always_ get a six?”   
“It’s called luck, Wilbur,”   
“That’s not luck, that’s called WEIGHTING THE FUCKING DICE!” Wilbur cried, then stormed out of the room. He stormed back in again a few seconds later, his expression one of a very angry and slightly humiliated man, and grabbed his guitar off the couch where it lay. Soon, angry strumming could be heard from up the stairs.

Tommy graciously helped Phil and Techno pack up the game before slinking off to his room.   
“I’ll be back, and you’ll regret you ever crossed the great TommyInnit,” he muttered, just loud enough for his supposed enemies to hear. As soon as he was out of earshot, Phil turned to Techno.

”Who knew such a small child could sound so menacing?” he said.   
“Phil I’m literally taller than you,” Tommy called down the stairs. Phil shook his head, smiling.

”Phil, we need a game that _you’re_ good at next time,” suggested Techno, deciding it was Dadza’s turn to claim victory. Phil smiled wickedly. He had an idea.

”Who’s up for a Smash Bros. tournament?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated :)


End file.
